The Adventures of Mr Ukki
by NkyOT
Summary: Ukki-kun doesn't care he's just a plant, he needs adventures too! Get your drabbles and drablets here! It's one big delicious mess of Kakashi, Rin and a plant. Angst! Lots of angst! Humour! Crack! Add in some KakaRin. Not always in that order!
1. 000

The Adventures of Mr Ukki **_Full Summary_**

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**Attention: TAOMU now has illustrations! They can be found at the following link, under the folder of the same name.**

**http:/nkyot(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/**

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A collection of semi-related drabbles involving Ukki-san and Kakashi, with a large dose of Rin on the side:

Even Kakashi's not sure how old he is. Poor Ukki-kun, without a Birthday. But he doesn't mind - he gets enough entertainment anyway. Constantly, he stands in place, seeing everything, tucked away in the nook of Kakashi's windowsill. And, oh, has he seen some things (even playing a part in them, somehow, usually the victim!). You've probably read more than enough stories through Kakashi's eyes, and maybe even a fair few through Rin's. But how about a different perspective? A new perspective? From a plant.

Sure, he may be _just _a plant. But he's been a hidden witness, all this time. He_ knows things_.

Intrigued yet? Don't worry, it's all just fun and games... Come and play along.

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**Disclaimer: I Don't Own Naruto**


	2. 001

I have had a few of these drabbles stashed away for ages, let me know what you think? This is new territory for me. (Genre-wise, drabble-wise ...ukki-wise!) When i refer to Ukki-san of course, i mean Kakashi's plant - just in case you thought he was some wierdly-leaved Zetsu-like Mary-Sue! I'm sure you didn't think that of course **;) **Oh, and whilst some drabbles are vaguely related, others plainly won't be (i like to randomise things). Just go with it **:)**

**This drabble now has its own illustration! Find it here:  
****http:/nkyot(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/33937302#/d4hdbjl**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**001**_

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Once, a very long time ago, before Mr Ukki had replaced him, there had been a Mr Taka. Mr Taka had been a very different plant to the one Mr Ukki is today – not so much in species and gender, but more in size and stature. Mr Taka had been taller than Mr Ukki, and had almost brushed the ceiling from where he had perched on the windowsill, unlike the short Mr Ukki.

So, what happened to Mr Taka, if he is no longer with us? I hear you ask. Well, that particular tale occurs one night long ago, when a younger, more irresponsible Kakashi was very, very drunk. The only events from that night Kakashi can clearly recall is stumbling into his room with an equally-as-drunk Rin in tow, and falling into Mr Taka.

The rest is harder for Kakashi to bring to mind, and all he can remember after that is the loud clunk of pottery meeting floor, scissors, and waking up _very _late the next morning to find Mr Ukki sitting on his windowsill instead.

To this day, Kakashi still does not know if Mr Ukki is the result of Rin feeling bad for helping murder Mr Taka, or if indeed Mr Ukki is simply Mr Taka with a very bad haircut.


	3. 002

Here we go, another drabble up for the chop! After being reminded how Ukki-kun came into existance in Kakashi's life (thank you, reviewer, i appreciate it! **:)**) I realised it's necessary for me to point out that some, probably most, of these drabbles aren't going to follow a canonised plot **;) -** mostly because these early ones i'm gradually uploading have been clogging up my computer memory for literally ages. Newer ones, however, may indeed zoom off in other directions! Still, canon-plot or crack-pot, it's all for a bit of fun!

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**002**_

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Not many people knew it, but Rin had grown Mr Ukki herself from a baby cutting. She loved that plant. She used to say that she'd definitely want him back one day — and up until she went MIA, Kakashi hadn't understood her at all, because why would she ever need to give Mr Ukki away? But now, on dark nights, when Kakashi finds himself wondering what happened to her, he looks across at Mr Ukki, and thinks that maybe she didn't disappear by accident after all.

(One day she'd be back. Until then, Kakashi would just keep caring for the plant she loved.)


	4. 003

It's very short, but it's very cute if i do say so myself!

**This drabble now has its own illustration! Find it here:  
http:/nkyot(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/33937302#/d4hd87h**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**003**_

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Years and years ago, Mr Ukki used to be a tiny plant, with only a few baby leaves sprouting from the top of his stem. He used to live in a small pot that could fit into the palm of Kakashi's hand. Naruto doesn't remember that far back, but Kakashi still takes joy in remembering the times when a baby Naruto tottered around Konoha, with a baby Mr Ukki clutched preciously in his hands.


	5. 004

How's this one? Hmm, I'm not sure. I like it, but it is somewhat odd. And with that said, I better warn you to look out for OOCness! Now, I'll leave you to decide **;) **

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**004**_

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"Rin, I don't care, I'm not bringing Ukki-kun all the way down to the hospital to visit you!" With a firm shake of his head, Kakashi looked away and folded his arms. "No way!"

Rin pouted, surreptitiously adjusting her top. "Please, Kaka?" She gave him the kicked puppy look.

"_No!_ It's a _plant, _Rin!"

"Fine! Senseiii! Will you bring me Ukki-kun from Kakashi's apartment?"

From the other side of the bed, Minato laughed, and brought his hands up in front of him. "I'm staying out of this one, Rin-chan!"

With a small, dejected cry, Rin turned back to her team mate, latching onto his folded arms. "'Kashi! Please? I know you can't resist me for long! Like, remember that time with the bunny costu—?"

"_Rin!_" Kakashi yelped, horrified. "No!"

"Aw, but you looked so _cute!_ Pleaseeee bring me Ukki-kun? You know you can't resist! What about that time with the sex t—?"

"_That_ was sensei!"

"Oh yeah!"

Minato coughed. Rin giggled. "That was a fun day! But, pleaseeee, Kashi-kun?"

"No!"

"Pleaseeee?"

"No!"

"Pleaseeeeeeeee?"

The next day, Kakashi turned up at Rin's hospital room with a familiar plant in his hands. Rin spent the rest of the day creating a nurse's outfit that she _said _was for Mr Ukki.

Kakashi had a bad feeling about this.


	6. 005

**This drabble now has its own illustration! Find it here:  
http:/nkyot(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/33937302#/d4hdb8r**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**005**_

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Kakashi admits that sometimes, (at Christmas mostly, although not _always _just at Christmas), he likes to string Mr Ukki's leaves with soft, blinking fairy lights. Mr Ukki admits that he doesn't mind – he thinks they make him look glowing and pretty; in a manly, plant way, of course.


	7. 006

Hooray, TAOMU update! **:)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**006**_

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In the small apartment that he owns, there is just enough room, he thinks fondly, for one man and his beloved Mr Ukki; and he thinks that's all he needs — that is, until Rin stumbles in at an ungodly hour, half-drunk and giddy, and wearing that cute-and-silly smile that just _promises _she hasn't got enough sober willpower to find her own way home.

Then again — he thinks, watching her try to clamber sleepily into hisbed, clutching his plant to her like some sort of leafy teddy bear and spilling soil all over his quilt — maybe there's room for just one more. For one night anyway.

But hell, Mr Ukki's certainly not complaining.


	8. 007

TAOMU update **:)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**007**_

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Rin's fingers delicately traced the plant's leaves, rubbing the smooth green tips between her fingers and giggling as her soft mouth curved at the corners. From where he sat cross-legged at the end of his bed, Kakashi shot Rin a perturbed, amused glance. Rin paid Kakashi's look no heed, however, and simply poked her tongue out at him. Kakashi sighed, trying very hard not to roll his eyes, and Rin turned back to Mr Ukki, patting his leaves affectionately.

"You know, Ukki-kun," she suddenly voiced to the motionless plant, a mischievous smile tugging at her face, "I think perhaps you're the _ooon_ly one sometimes that Kakashi works hard enough to care for." From the other end of the bed, Kakashi snorted softly despite himself, and turned another page in his book. She was talking to a plant. A _plant!_

However, Rin just giggled quietly, and trailed her fingers thoughtfully over the pot's terracotta rim. From the corner of her eye, she spied Kakashi gazing at her over the top of his ecchi-book.

After a second, she carried on with an exaggerated sigh, "After all, he waters you daily and makes sure you have enough sunlight. I've seen how often he takes care of you! Why, you lazy thing, you never even have to move!" She pouted, "It's a lot more often than he looks after me! You don't even have to move to get his attention."

Distinctly, she heard Kakashi murmur back, "You're a big girl, Rin-_chan_, you don't need me to look after you 24/7."

With a hurt little grumble, she retorted back over her shoulder, "Yeah, but it's still nice, you know!" Rin turned back to the attentive Mr Ukki. "You see, Ukki-kun? _And_ he doesn't even expect anything in return from you, except to preoccupying him for a little while! Such an easy task!" She ruffled his leaves affectionately. "You loveable plant, you!"

Glancing over at Kakashi purposefully, with an air of blatant secrecy, Rin leant in and whispered loudly, "He's stubborn, isn't he, Ukki-kun? Doesn't want to admit that _he_ sometimes needs looking after too." Giggling again, Rin ignored Kakashi's mutters, and winked at the motionless plant. "_I _could do it, you know! He knows too, how well I'd _look after_ him!" She heard Kakashi's suffering moan. "Oh, Ukki-kun, he definitely knows!" Then she erupted in peels of stifled laughter, toppling backwards and kicking her legs in the air, while Kakashi facepalmed in disbelief. Rin's mirth continued as she gasped to the listening plant, "He knows all too well how I'd _preoccupy_ him!"

Suddenly, though, she moaned pitifully in dejection, and her face fell rapidly, pouting. "But still he keeps denying me, Ukki-kun!" she whimpered. "He rarely looks after me, and keeps denying me!" Flinging herself over the bedcovers, and by not-so-unintentional coincidence, Kakashi's lap, Rin groaned in despair. "Look, Ukki-kun! I'm wil~ting! He's not giving me the love and attention I deserve! Kakashi-kunn!" Kakashi just glanced coolly down at the girl in his lap, before turning another page in his book.

After a second, Rin 'hmphed' and sat up again, turning back to her inanimate audience. "See, Ukki-kun? You're the only one who understands me!" She let out a dramatic sob, before crawling over the bed to sit by Mr Ukki again.

"I'm going to give you a gift, Ukki-koi!" She announced suddenly, and Kakashi rolled his eyes in exasperation, glancing over curiously despite himself. Rin leaned in closer to the plant, whispering in a sultry tone, "It's so you can remind Kakashi of what he's missing."

Now, even years later, Kakashi can't hold back a chuckle every time he waters his precious plant, because he can still see the faint lipstick kiss placed by Mr Ukki's name. He swore the plant was blushing.


	9. 008

TAOMU time! **:)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**008**_

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Even years later, Kakashi is reminded of the love of the best friend he lost, because he can still trace the faint kiss on Mr Ukki's rim. Because of that, he can still remember the shape of Rin's lips – but never the touch. He never seized the chance to kiss her, and now all he remembers is the feel of cool terracotta beneath worn fingers.


	10. 009

008 _and_ 009 in one day - a double TAOMU update, you lucky things you! **:)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**009**_

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Mr Ukki wishes he could go places, sometimes, because going places with Rin and Kakashi sounded like a lot of fun. He remembers being told once, by a very drunk Kakashi (for what sober person would talk to a plant, besidesRin?), a fun, yet (for Kakashi) a very embarrassing incident on the way back from a mission, involving a pit-stop for refreshments, a men's bathroom without a Rin-proof lock, and… a banana.

Mr Ukki's leaves blush just from remembering the story.


	11. 010

Okay, I admit it, maybe I ship KakaRin from time to time **;)** Obvious? Nahhhh!

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**010**_

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Of all the people in Konoha who swore that Rin and Kakashi would get together, Mr Ukki was the only one who witnessed their relationship. He had a front row seat to each stage: the kissing, the sex, and then those three little words — I love you.

Sometimes all in one night.


	12. 011

Kiddies, look away. This one is quite suggestive, even though it's only three sentences long!

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**_011_**

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Mr Ukki is the luckiest plant in the world. He knows almost every Icha Icha Paradise Volume off-by-heart, so many times has he been able to read it over Kakashi's shoulder from the windowsill. Mr Ukki also, however, knows off-by-heart the names of all Kakashi's secret love interests, so many times has he heard the Jounin moan them out solo in the night, when Kakashi's lust gets almost too much to bare.


	13. 012

Same with this one kiddies, not for young eyes! And, I must add in a little disclaimer, when I wrote this, I was probably on caffine. Or... well: crackficlet, because who pairs Kaka with a plant? **;)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**012**_

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And so many times has Mr Ukki wished that Kakashi would moan out _his _name as the Jounin pumped himself to a quick rhythm. For Mr Ukki knows all of the names of Kakashi's secret love interests, but Mr Ukki himself has but one.

(UkkixKakashi)


	14. 013

Oh that crafty Naruto! **;)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**013**_

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Ukki-kun knows that when Kakashi arrives home, there's going to be trouble. The apartment was a mess, as if some reckless, hyperactive blonde youth had let loose a large, simpleminded toad inside, taunting him with the promise of hidden candy. Poor Gamatatsu hadn't found any candy, but in his search he _did _managed to knock over Ukki-kun himself (he was currently upturned on the floor, with his roots showing, how embarrassing!), mess up the bed, send all the important looking documents on the Hatake's desk flying, _and _gain possession of a suspiciously unlabelled videotape stuffed in Kakashi's closet. Yup, Ukki thought as he ruffled his leaves in indignity, Kakashi would be horrified when he got home — probably from foreseeing how empty his wallet would be, after bribing Naruto for the return of his videotape.


	15. 014

Oh dear, it's a sad one for Kakashi and Ukki-kun.

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**014**_

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There was a suffocating silence. Nothing compared to it, nothing at all; if Ukki-kun had a voice, he would be screaming now, for sure - anything to break the dreadful hush that Minato's words had just created. Minato himself was very pale, his face drawn in exhaustion and painful emotion. His hands were shaking as he hesitantly reached out to comfort his student, who was sat upon the bed in a state of shock, eyes wide as he stared at the floor between his feet.

He didn't move a muscle as his sensei's hand rested upon his back. For a moment, he let the palm rest there, feeling his pounding heartbeat. However, after a moment, he shrugged the hand away, and whispered hoarsely, "Please leave, sensei."

Minato did as he was told, even though he was reluctant to leave Kakashi - looking so fragile, and so lost, unlike his usual self at all. Not even when Obito died had Kakashi looked this ill. For ill Kakashi did look, and as he sat upon his bed in his empty apartment, for a moment he felt as if he were going to throw up. He breathed heavily, and bent over so that his head was between his knees; his breath was coming in short, choked gasps and the room was swaying from side to side. It was a panic attack, something that Kakashi had never experienced before.

He could feel something trying to force its way up his throat, and it almost made him gag - it was his voice, trying desperately to cry out. His pride, his personality, dared not let him, and he suppressed it for a long time, breathing heavily, feeling sick, and feeling his whole body pound with icy shock. He was trembling badly. Suddenly, however, her face sprang forward into his mind, erasing his view of the wooden floorboards, and all he could see was her smile, her glinting eyes, so happy; laughing at something he had said, unwittingly funny to her that he didn't get. She was giggling, saying his name in her voice that was so soft, so gentle, so… so…

Gone. She was gone, and suddenly Kakashi's heart ripped apart. He cried out silently and clutched desperately at his chest. He shook violently as he mouthed her name again and again, his eyes screwed tightly shut as he flopped sideways into his pillow. Suddenly, unexpectedly, a wail broke from his lips, and he howled into his pillow, still clutching urgently at his heart. He felt as if part of his very being had died.

"Rin…!" his voice choked around her name, muffled into the sheets of his bed. Hot tears suddenly began to pour from his eyes in a torrent, and Kakashi didn't know when he had started crying; he couldn't even remember the last time he had cried. But cry he did; he sobbed like a small child and curled up into a small ball on his bed, feeling his whole body churn in unpleasant devastation. Through his sobs he called her name again and again, as if she could somehow still hear him. "Rin!" he gasped. "Oh…!"

Seeing his owner in such a devastating state, Ukki-kun wanted to do something. He wanted to scream out for Minato again, cry out to anyone for help, for someone to scoop up this young man as if he were a child and hold him, comfort him in his overwhelming grief. But, of course, Ukki-kun didn't have a voice, and nobody came.

And now, even to this day, Ukki-kun is unaware that Minato stood outside the door to his student's apartment, listening wretchedly to the cries of his young prodigy, feeling the emotions too raw to intrude upon. The man stood with his head in his hands as, in the isolation of his own home, Kakashi's world was torn in two, knowing there was nothing he could do to take away his pain.


	16. 015

Here we are again, another update **:)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**015**_

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Ukki-kun sits silently on his window sill, watching the scene unfold. He listens stoically as the Jounin murmur amongst themselves, about a threat, about Naruto, and about a young boy Ukki-kun spied from his window long ago. He must be a man by now, Ukki wonders to himself. Uchiha Itachi.

A few minutes later, Ukki watches how that man's younger brother barges in, and he sees the exact moment when the boy's world turns black. He goes, running from the room at the sound of his sibling's name, his eyes filled with a mad fire, and his heart thudding so loudly that even Ukki-kun can hear it. Ukki watches how Gai follows after him, and how the other Jounin exchange worried, knowing glances after he's gone.

Ukki-kun doesn't have to guess. He knows that if Kakashi were awake, it would be him to follow after, not Gai. And Ukki realized then, he realized — oh, how he wished he had a voice!

"Don't chase that boy, master!" Ukki-kun would say. "He won't stop running now for anything!" And Kakashi would listen to him; he would, because he would tell Kakashi the truth he had been trying to deny for years, every time the Jounin looked in the mirror, every time he uncovered his left eye:

"You know the thing about Uchihas, master," Ukki would tell him gently. "You know they don't come back."


	17. 016

Enjoy **:)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**016**_

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There is a moment when Ukki-kun thinks he is dead. His pot has shattered, and all around him Kakashi's apartment lies in ruins. He is partially buried beneath the rubble, stones crushing his leaves and stem and roots, and he swears he must surely be dead, because it didn't hurt anymore. He wondered vaguely if this was how Obito felt.

Then, the rocks are lifted, and he sees sunlight. There's Kakashi, reaching down to scoop him up with shaking fingers. He looked into the Jounin's face – his headband had gone, and a cracked, dark smear marked where blood had trickled down his face. Kakashi's eyes were wide, and slightly shell-shocked, and Ukki-kun found himself marveling at what kind of revelation could make Kakashi's look so young, like a child again.

Kakashi smiles down at him after a moment. "Come on, Ukki-kun," he says quietly, "let's go patch you up."

Ukki-kun guessed he'd never find out.


	18. 017

I can't help it, Rin and Kakashi just scream**_ ANGST!_**, don't you think?

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**017**_

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Ukki always hated the rain. And not just because he resented Kakashi for leaving the window open once during a terrible thunderstorm, the hail ripping at his outermost leaves and waterlogging his pot. It was because the rain used to make Rin sad. And when she was sad, she would turn up at the door to Kakashi's apartment, knocking on the cold wood with numb fingers and a dripping umbrella trailing from her hand.

Kakashi would answer the door straight away, always knowing it was her. He would tell her to leave the umbrella propped against the wall outside, to drain itself in a little puddle, and would pull her into the warm and wrap her shaking body in a soft towel. Then, they would sit on Kakashi's bed, and just talk. Rin would yell, sometimes, about Kakashi's reckless ANBU career (she never yelled before he joined that place), or sometimes she would just stay silent. Sometimes, she cried. But she always left smiling, even if the sky was still grumbling and black.

Ukki always hated the rain. He hated it because the rain used to make Rin sad, and now she was gone, it made Kakashi sadder.


	19. 018

Especially for your viewing pleasure, TAOMU 018** :)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**018**_

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Ukki-kun watches Kurenai with curiosity. He studies closely the adoring look upon her face as she picks up her wailing baby, cuddling the infant close, and whispers little words. "Hush, baby," she says, brushing soft lips against the new-born's cheek. "Hush now, you don't need to make such a racket. Mummy's here."

Ukki-kun listens closely to her soothing voice, and wonders. He wonders how she can pick up this noisy little bundle and not scold it for being naughty, for making such a clamour. He cannot fathom how the woman can hold the baby close, as if it's the most precious thing in the universe, when all it is is a screaming, dribbling mess.

But then he watches the child, and he sees how it quiets from her touch, breathing to her heartbeat. And then it opens its bright, round eyes, its mouth stretching in a toothless, gummy smile. And it burbles. And it hiccups. Then it laughs.

And that delighted, nonsensical noise alone is enough to make Mr Ukki think, if he could find the right fern or flower, maybe he wouldn't mind a few little seedlings of his own.


	20. 019

I present: TAOMU, 19

**This drabble now has its own illustration! Find it here: **  
http:/nkyot(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/33937302#/d4hdavl

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**019**_

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Kakashi didn't boast, he didn't gloat. His was a quiet kind of genius, reserved but powerful. Anyone who met him knew he was a pro: the way he spared his strength, kept his judgement; the way his movements were so sure. He was clear-cut, and professional — to a terrible fault. Ukki can't remember the last time he saw Kakashi relax, saw him grieve, saw him trust. And Ukki-kun knew why. Kakashi had packed away his vulnerability; shut it up tight in the small box below his bed, with the old photographs, and the letters, and the ring.


	21. 020

**:)**

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**020**_

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Ukki-kun finds it hard to remember Obito. He was barely more than a seedling when that boy was alive. He can't remember his face, or the colour of his hair, and it's only when he thinks back really, really far, and the time of day is just right, that he can recall a voice. He can remember that Kakashi talked of him, though: often casually, occasionally in irritation — but always with a quiet fondness. But soon the Hatake mentioned Obito less and less; after Rin passed, he barely spoke of either of them again, and Ukki continued to forget.

But when Mr Ukki thinks back _really_ far, and the time of day is right — with the wind in the right direction and a triumphant Naruto heading past to Ichiraku — Ukki can remember a laugh.


	22. 021

I think I've forgotten how not to write angst!

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**021**_

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"Kakashi-sensei?" The door was open, so there was nothing Mr Ukki could do to stop the intruder. He just sat in his pot on the windowsill and waited expectantly for the trespasser to waltz into the room.

Naruto poked his head round the door with a tentative knock on the wood. "Kakashi-sensei?" he called again. The Jounin was nowhere to be seen, though, and so the boy took it upon himself to wander in. He glanced around with a mildly-interested stare, his gaze falling upon the plant nestled against the windowpane. "I don't suppose _you _can tell me where my sensei is?" he asked Ukki. Ukki-kun said nothing, and watched the boy inch closer.

"You're sensei's plant…" Naruto deduced insightfully, reaching out a finger to swipe across Mr Ukki's inscribed name. "…U-K-K-I, huh?" Ukki-kun's leaves rustled in affirmation. "Well," Naruto said, starting to pull away, "it was nice meeting you, Ukki-san." Just as he was about to turn and leave, however, something caught his eye.

He reached across, with sudden bated breath, to Ukki's neighbour, picking the photo up in gentle hands. Ukki watched with curiosity as Naruto gazed deeply at it for a moment, before softly, he swiped a finger over the frame, and whispered to himself. After a moment, he put it back.

"That was my friend," Naruto explained to the plant with a faintly saddened smile. "Look after him for me, won't you?"


	23. 022

Another dose of TAOMU.

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**022**_

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Ukki-kun was a master of espionage. No one made any particular effort to avoid his vigilant gaze, or discuss things out of earshot. He was a master undercover agent. He frequently overheard things — shinobi secrets and teenage gossip. For instance, just the other day he overheard plans for a certain Jinchuuriki's surprise party. Sakura was making arrangements with Kakashi, working out a way to distract the boy whilst the final touches to his celebration were put in place. She glanced around, to make sure no one was listening, but Kakashi just chuckled and shrugged her suspicions away.

"Who's going to overhear us, Sakura?" he reasoned. "Not all walls have ears."

He was right, they didn't. But some plants did.


	24. 023

TAOMU 023, at your service.

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The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**023**_

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"_No! Minato, you promised!" _

"_I'm sorry, love, but I don't have a choice."_

Ukki wished he wasn't there, wasn't listening to this. But Rin was insisting, demanding through a haze of tears that Kakashi tell her what happened to their sensei. She hadn't been there; she had promised Kushina she would be there. But when Naruto was born, she was nowhere to be found, caught up somewhere on the battlefield, and it all happened so quickly, so fast. They died so fast.

"_He's our_ son_, for pity's sake! Don't do this to him… _Look _at him!"_

Rin hadn't stopped crying from the moment the battle fell still, because as soon as the Kyuubi disappeared, she knew. She knew they were both gone. And she was _so angry _at them both — how could they leave their son with such an excruciating burden?

"_He__… That _man_ ripped the Kyuubi from me, and in doing so took me from my son. Look at him… He's so tiny, so fragile. What's he going to do without his father too, Minato? Please…"_

Kakashi held Rin close. She was trembling with the pain and the cold and the fear that her team mate's recount instilled deep within her body. Her face was buried in Kakashi's shoulder, and she was choking back her sobs. "H-how…?" she murmured into the young Jounin's jacket. "How could sensei leave him all alone…?"

Kakashi pulled Rin away gently, and tried to wipe away her stream of tears. "Don't think it was easy for him, Rin…" Kakashi coaxed her softly. "It was the hardest decision he ever had to make, to condemn his village, or his son… But, in the end, I think he knew Naruto would be okay." He brushed tear-soaked strands of hair from Rin's cheeks. "And he will be."

"But…" Rin sniffed. "But how do you know, Kakashi? How can you be so sure?"

"Just trust me," Kakashi replied with a small, comforting smile. "I know."

"_Will he really be okay?"_

"_He'__s your son, Kushina. He's going to be fantastic."_


	25. 024

Short but sweet.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**024**_

* * *

Naruto doesn't remember Rin. And Mr Ukki finds that heart-breaking, because he knew how much Rin adored him. He can remember clearly how Rin would sit Naruto upon her knee, and bounce him up and down with a gentle laugh, whilst Kakashi readied their dinner in the kitchen.


	26. 025

**;)**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**025**_

* * *

They were drunk. They were _really_ drunk. But it felt right. They were sat too close to be casual, knee to knee and hands brushing. Kakashi's heart was pounding in his chest, and it wasn't the alcohol. Rin was laughing, euphoric tears welling in her eyes and dripping down her face, leaning in close. She always did invade his space without a second thought, but tonight she was closer than usual. It made Kakashi nervous, but electrified. Rin was gazing at him with her bright, hazel eyes, and he could pick out the tears clinging to her individual lashes with brilliant clarity. He could even feel the warmth of her blushing cheeks. He was captivated. Almost without thinking, he brought his hand up to touch her face.

He could feel her breath, and her lips were soft.

Kakashi woke in the morning with a sleeping Rin curled up beside him. Everything from the night before was pretty hazy, but after a minute or two he remembered enough to realise he had kissed her; everything after that was just an annoyingly inconsistent blur. Over the top of Rin's sleeping head, the young Jounin glanced up at his faithful, vigilant plant.

"What happened last night, Ukki-kun?" he asked the shrub.

Oh, how Ukki wished he could tell him!


	27. 026

TAOMU 026 has arrived **:)**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**026**_

* * *

Contrary to the fact that Ukki-kun could not defend himself in any way, the veteran plant wasn't scared of much. Anko, though, scared him. Not because she was a formidable ninja, but because she had a horticultural streak that no one really knew about. Upon seeing Ukki-kun for the first time, she leaned in close, eyes glittering hungrily, and remarked casually to Kakashi, "You can eat lots of plants like him, you know. I find it's always handy to keep a plant around if I get peckish."


	28. 027

Followed by 027, hot off the press!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**027**_

* * *

When the night is still and clear, with only a small flurry of clouds drifting across the sky and the moon turning everything an ashen shade, Ukki-kun can hear Kakashi murmuring in his sleep. Sometimes he frowns, and sometimes he smiles. Ukki thinks it's Rin visiting, stepping down the moonlight, to whisper stories and sweet nothings in his ear.


	29. 028

Enjoy 028 **:)**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**028**_

* * *

It was rather unlucky, the way Ukki-kun was bestowed upon Kakashi. The young Jounin was laid up in bed at the time, and Minato seemed acutely aware that a potted plant was not the best thing to present to a bedridden shinobi — he apologised at least twice. But Kakashi assured him it didn't matter, it didn't count, because Ukki wasn't a get-well present. The plant was a gift, to celebrate Kakashi's promotion to ANBU captain, and with medicinal potential and the ability to brighten up an otherwise dreary new office, Mr Ukki was in fact the perfect present.


	30. 029

TAOMU 029

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**029**_

* * *

Ukki always knew Kakashi meant well, but when Naruto burst in one day, angry – _furious _– because Kakashi was just training Sasuke instead of both of them, Ukki couldn't help but feel disappointed in his master.


	31. 030

No one puts Mr Ukki in the corner!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**030**_

* * *

Once, stupidly, Kakashi tried to buy a new plant. Mr Ukki was very ill, his leaves yellow and shrivelled. But he still had enough energy to push the new shrub off _his _ledge when Kakashi couldn't see. It gave Ukki considerable satisfaction to watch the smaller plant's pot smash and spill soil everywhere. When Kakashi came back into the room, thinking the plant must have just fallen by itself, he was bemused by the fact that Ukki was looking much better.


	32. 031

TAOMU 031, with more to follow!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**031**_

* * *

Ukki didn't like it when Kakashi went on long missions. He didn't like it, because now Rin had gone, there wasn't anyone to look after him. Once in a while, Kurenai would drop by, but she wouldn't chat to him like Rin used to. That's why Ukki didn't like it when Kakashi went away. That, and when he went, Ukki didn't know if his master would come back.


	33. 032

TAOMU 032 **:)**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**032**_

* * *

Sakura reminded Ukki a lot of Rin. Not so much in her earlier years, when she fawned and fought for that Uchiha kid's attention, but now she had come into her own and had grown into her ambitions, she reminded Ukki a lot of Rin. She was a promising medic, and a good ninja, and Ukki could see how proud Kakashi was of her.


	34. 033

TAOMU 033 **:)**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**033**_

* * *

Mr Ukki just couldn't make sense of Naruto. He was headstrong and impulsive, with a short fuse and a stubborn temper; he was hopeless at a lot of things, but the things he was good at, he pulled off brilliantly. He was loveable, caring and kind, and reminded Ukki so much of his mother. She would be so proud of her little prankster. Ukki wished she could be there to see him. But then again, maybe it was better for all their sakes if there was just one troublemaker around.


	35. 034

TAOMU 034. Bit iffy about this one!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**034**_

* * *

Ukki liked to watch Shikamaru play shogi. The Nara prodigy was incredibly smart. He could start and finish a game in just twelve moves. But despite that, Ukki knew there was one thing that stumped the boy — who was the King? But Ukki knew. Of course he knew. Every day from his window, he watched the new generations grow. But Ukki had to wonder, what piece was he?


	36. 035

**This drabble now has its own illustration! Find it here: **  
**http:/nkyot(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/33937302#/d4hda4p**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**035**_

* * *

After Minato and Obito were gone, Kakashi threw himself into his work more than ever. Rin would always drop by to check on him, but he was frequently on a mission, or so exhausted that her entrance didn't wake him. So she decided to leave a sign that she was there, that she was missing him, that he should come back to her soon. She tied a ribbon around Ukki's stem.

One time, Kakashi came home from a long mission, to find Ukki looking more like a small tree than a plant, with a multitude of multi-coloured, silk leaves blowing in the breeze, and a sleeping Rin curled up in his bed, desperately awaiting his return. After that, Kakashi decided not to work so much.


	37. 036

This one came to me at 3am in a hotel room. It was a funny thought to entertain **:D**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**036**_

* * *

There was a secret organization. Ukki liked to believe he was a member, purely because he was at every meeting. The organization was a secret, because if the truth of its nature were to be revealed, there would be jeopardy over the reputations of its members. But Ukki know what it involved. He knew the organization's deepest, darkest secrets. He knew their deepest relationships. He knew they were… a book club.

Yes! That's right! Every third Thursday of the month, three important men in the Konoha village would gather in Kakashi's apartment to discuss the latest developments of their favourite novel: Icha Icha Paradise! And these men would suffer greatly if the true depths of their infatuation with the saga were to be revealed, for they were none other than Kakashi, Ebisu, and (possibly the most reputable of all in Ukki-kun's eyes) the man who ran the "Adult Magazine" Shop.

Oh yes, this was a very secret organization. Akatsuki would be jealous.


	38. 037

There's no Ukki in this one, but it came seeping from my fingertips anyway and demanded to be written.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**037**_

* * *

She's small in his arms, and shaking with more than shock, more than fear and fright and terror. She's shaking from the force of some inner nightmare, born from the blood that still stains her skin, and it's fighting to burst from her mouth in a tortured wail, a terrified scream. She's not still, she's not frozen in fear. She's twisting and lashing and crying, scraping and scratching and trying to scour her skin clean. She wails his name, her eyes screwed shut. Get it off, she cries out through her tears, get if off me! It won't leave, it won't rub away because she's scored herself to the point of bleeding, and now it's her blood blossoming across her arms and chest and stomach and neck in small pinpricks, but all she sees is the same shade, smells the same stench, of death.

Kakashi grapples with her, crying out her name, desperately trying to still her. He manages to grab her wrists and pull her hands away. She suddenly falls limp, hanging like a puppet from his grasp. She collapses into his chest, wailing with a heart-wrenching sorrow as he wrestles her to the ground and pulls her into his lap.

She's still there, in the forest, in the dark, with the bodies of her fallen comrades smothering her like a blanket of death. She can hear the child's cries and all she can see is the crimson-green-black of the gut-splattered trees. Kakashi cups her cheeks in both hands, rocking her gently as she whimpers and cries out pleas for someone, anyone, save her, save them, save her. She's slipping back into the forest even though her eyes are wide open and staring into his.

"Stay with me, Rin," Kakashi stutters hoarsely, brushing her matted hair from her face. "Stay here with me, stay here." He takes her, so small and fragile and scared and broken, and tries to put her back together in his arms. He cradles her, buries her head in his chest and blocks out any other sound so she can only hear the steady, living beat of his pained heart. He kisses the top of her head, and as she quiets slightly, moaning into his shirt that's damp with her tears and her hot breath and her blood, he glances up and across to where his sensei sits silently, helplessly, blood on his peace-seeking hands. He asks him with his eyes, what is he supposed to do, but only receives the same question in return.


	39. 038

Quote: Chuck Palahniuk, _Invisible Monsters_

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**038**_

* * *

_"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I have ever known."_

Ukki-kun saw it. Every day, he saw how the hours shaped his master, how every moment he breathed the very air was sculpting him. Every mood and every person that collided with him left an imprint on his battle-scarred person. Rin left the biggest impression. Right in the centre of his heart, she built a home. Almost single-handedly, she built him with her soft hands, coaxing and moulding his cold being into life. She poured herself into him and in turn he soaked into her, into her body and skin and heart. Kakashi's own heart dented with her death, but her will built him and in him built her home, and by her will his heart would never break, because the brief love they shared had made him indestructible.


	40. 039

Oh dear, Ukki-kun's missing again! **:O**

******This drabble now has its own illustration! Find it here:  
****http:/nkyot(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/33937302#/d4hd9g1**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**039**_

* * *

As far as Kurenai could remember, the last baby Kakashi ever played with was Naruto, so it wasn't like he had much experience when it came to holding them. She wasn't worried that he would drop her child, though, as she insisted he scoop her source of pride and joy from her arms. She trusted him. And as she saw the attentive way he gently held the little one to his chest, his calloused fingers cradling the new-born's head and a soft mumble of comfort on his lips as the baby squirmed, she would even go as far to say she was impressed. With instincts like that, she said, he'd make a good father.

The Hatake's students, however, weren't convinced, and promptly burst out laughing as they indicated the Jounin's perverse book, sat beside him on his desk. Their sensei wasn't one for kids, they said, and Kakashi shrugged sheepishly, almost as if he agreed.

However, something made Kurenai think differently. It was the way he stood with her baby, how he held the new-born with such ease, and the way he played with its little fingers and made it coo. He made it looks so _easy_. She shook her with disbelief, and complained she didn't understand how he was such a natural.

As she went to take her baby back, however, Kurenai almost missed her answer – the way Kakashi glanced surreptitiously at the photo on his windowsill, and smiled.


	41. 040

Ah, Ukki-kun, I appologise for the embarressment you feel** :P**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**040**_

* * *

Ukki and Pakkun got on very well, thank you very much. Well. Except for that one time, when Pakkun was just a pup and had yet to be housetrained. Wanting to be courteous to the new dog, Ukki hadn't objected to Pakkun's sudden snuffling interest in his pot, and had simply watched on curiously, thinking that the small, scrunched faces Pakkun was making were simply cute, inquisitive expressions. But then the pup let out a peculiar little yap of discovery, of _triumph, _and suddenly Ukki's soil began to feel very warm, and— and— _ergh!_ _The dog was peeing on him! Oh my— get the mutt off! Get him off, now!_

Kakashi, of course, just thought the whole incident was very funny.


	42. 041

Couldn't sleep, so instead i wrote a limerick.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**041**_

* * *

The esteemed Mr Ukki (a plant),

Once thought he could sing (he really can't).

He wanted to sing

A ballad, of all things!

But Kakashi shot him down fast: "No you shan't!"


	43. 042

It's slightly disturbing to think that I sneeze because Ukki gets horny over another plant. It's the most useless allergy ever.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**042**_

* * *

But, God, they were _beautiful! _ Their luscious, green stems and gently arching leaves, radiant in the sun; the last remnants of the morning dew glinting off their milky white petals; the soft blush of pink smattering their smooth, creamy complexions as they leant their faces in close to giggle and chatter amongst themselves. Oh, how Ukki wished—

"Is Ukki checking out those lilies in front of the Yamanaka store again?"

"Ukki-kun, you perv! No more Icha Icha for you until pollenating season is _over!"_


	44. 043

I apologise for all the Kakashi-whumping. Actually, no, no I don't!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**043**_

* * *

He could barely see her through the smoke, and so he reached for her, like he had done so many nights before, for so many years after his head hit his pillow.

"Rin!" Of course, she wouldn't hear him. She'd never hear his voice again. He never got the chance to apologise for the things he said, right before she left.

The next time he saw her, she was laying on a cold, stone slab, her skin ashen grey, face drawn, eyes open and glassy. When he reached to grasp her hand, it was cold. She'd always had warm hands, slender as they soothed his many wounds. The smoke in his dreams was stifling hot; the ash flitting from the flames stung his throat and made him cough. But the memory of her cold, lifeless hands would never leave him. He reached for her again, his voice raw and rasping in the burning heat, eyes stinging from the smoke.

"Rin!"

She turned. She never turned. She was staring at him through the billowing ash, her face pale, eyes swimming, but so _alive_. He wanted to run to her, crush her tightly in his arms, breath in the scent of her hair, and sob apologies into the crook of her neck. But he couldn't reach her. He tried so hard but he _couldn't!_

"Kakashi."

Here voice was soft, and faint, and suddenly Kakashi was terrified. She was fading in front of his eyes. He had so much to _say! _

"I'm sorry."

He was shocked by her voice. Kakashi shook his head desperately — what did she have to be sorry for? It was _he _who should apologise! But he knew there was little time left. However many things he had to say, he had time for just one. He saw tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Rin," he said. "Rin, I'm so proud of you."

As she disappeared, she smiled. "I know."

Kakashi woke with tears in his eyes. He had forgotten what that felt like. With a shaky hand, he wiped his cheeks. He twisted up in bed to look out past Mr Ukki's leaves, quivering in a soft breeze from the open window, and gazed at the low, glowing moon. It had just been a dream, but, somehow, he knew that Rin had heard him.


	45. 044

These drabbles seem to be getting more KakaRin and less Ukki of late. I SHALL TOTALLY FIX THAT! To the Ukki-Lair!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**044**_

* * *

Rin and Kakashi had a fight. It wasn't their usual bickering, about the dishes, the sweeping, how Kakashi was never around. Rin was scared, Ukki could see that. But in his outrage, Kakashi couldn't. When Rin accused him of being reckless, of throwing his life away, of being stupid, Kakashi couldn't see she was scared he was going to die, scared he would go the same way as his father.


	46. 045

It gives a whole new meaning to "springtime of youth".

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**045**_

* * *

Ukki really wished sometimes that Rin would shut the hell up when she was drunk. (He was always little grouchy when he was woken at 3am). He did _not _want to hear about how many shots she'd downed with Kakashi's ANBU pals, and he did _not _want to hear about all the lewd comments she'd had thrown her way (mostly from an inebriated Ebisu – and, on an occasion where Minato wasn't around to play buffer, one very drunk Toad Sage). However, what he really, _really _didn't want to hear about was what, on one particularly raucous night, Rin had done with one equally-as-hammered Maito Gai. And he didn't want to hear what Gai could do with his tongue. And he _definitely_ didn't want to hear about _how he measured up_.

To her credit, Rin always had the courtesy to look absolutely mortified in the morning – about the parts she could remember, at least. Ukki and Kakashi would then take great joy in filling in the blanks.


	47. 046

You all wish you could people-watch with Ukki too! **;)**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**046**_

* * *

There were two things that everyone swore they knew about Rin: one, she was a gossip, and two, she was screwing Kakashi's brains out. They were wrong on both accounts — at least in the beginning — because Rin was _not _a gossip (but she did eventually screw Kakashi's brains out). It was Mr Ukki, in fact, who was the gossip. Rin just passed the information along.

Ukki's favourite pastime was, of course, people-watching; he had a good view of the main street from his vantage point at Kakashi's window. So it was he, then Rin (then Kakashi by involuntary default), who first discovered Kurenai's penchant for Thursday evening lingerie shopping, and her proceeding Friday night hook-up with Asuma; Jiraiya's new bit-on-the-side — and, later the same night, an even _newer _bit on the side; Ebisu's dirty little midnight secret, and Anko's surprising taste in men; and even, once, just how kinky their sensei could _really_ get.

(Following that last little discovery, neither Kakashi nor Rin could look Minato in the eye for weeks, and by the twinkle in the Fourth's eye, it seemed he knew perfectly well just why.)


	48. 047

It's rushed, but who the hell cares. It's KakaRin, that's all that matters.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**047**_

* * *

His hands were shaking. When was the last time his hands had shaken? He couldn't remember, and right then he didn't care. Kakashi couldn't believe his eyes. The letter Tsunade had handed him just moments before was quivering in his grip, but not enough so that the words were unrecognisable. Their rushed, round shapes — so familiar, so scarily, unbelievably, _amazingly_ familiar — filled his entire mind. They tentatively stepped from the paper to seep behind his eyes, in his ears, along his tongue, rendering his senses useless — his vision blurred and tunnelled, his ears stuffed with cotton wool, his mouth unnaturally dry. He didn't feel Tsunade's hand on his shoulder, her confused voice prodding at his bubble of disbelief. His whole being, his whole entire world, had dissolved until all focus was on those two little words in his hands:

_I'm here._

He was running from the room before he even realised his feet could move, banging through the doors and tearing away as if Death itself were on his heels. He stumbled to a halt once he reached the village gates, and stared. He stared hard, because there she was; and suddenly he couldn't breathe, and his knees felt weak, and all he wanted to do was grab her in his arms and tug her into his chest and never, _ever_ let her walk away from him again.

Neither of them moved for eternity, but then suddenly her backpack fell from her grip, and she was running with a cry, with his name falling from his lips, and her voice sounded just like he remembered. She threw her arms around him, sobbing and cursing and laughing so hard, and her cheeks were flushed as she yanked down his mask and kissed him right there, right in the street for everyone to see.

It felt like forever, and not long at all, before they untangled themselves from their embrace. For a moment, Kakashi was terrified she would leave, but then Rin punched him on the arm, and grinned a Cheshire grin, and he knew she had left him for the last time.


	49. 048

Nott as fabulously well-written as I hoped, but I had to get the image of Kakashi in a dress in these drabbles _somewhere! _

Also, I had a moment today where I had to ask myself if i was above shamelessly plugging new fics. Turns out, no, no i'm not. I have new **Harry Potter** oneshots up, (shocker, not Naruto!) **READ THEM!** Pretty please? **:)**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**048**_

* * *

Rin stood in front of him, hands twisting impatiently in the hem of her top. She was biting her lip, and her cheeks were flushed with an embarrassed tinge. She hated asking favours, especially when it came to asking favours of Kakashi. And this was probably the biggest favour she would ever ask.

To say she was apprehensive was a wild understatement, but if he said yes, it would mean the whole world to her. There was no one else she wanted to be with her. So she took a deep breath, and stammered with earnest, "I— I know, it's going to be difficult for you, Kakashi-kun, but… but there's no one else I'd rather have up there with me, and—" But her words were faltering, and her tongue felt like a limp slug in her mouth.

"Rin," Kakashi cut her off with an amused quirk of his eyebrow, and incredulous laughter in his voice, "are you asking me to be your maid of honour?"

Rin gaped at him. "What—?" she yelped. "No!" She heaved an embarrassed sigh, and deftly avoided Kakashi's laughing eye as she scratched her cheek and mumbled, "I— My dad, he's been dead for a while now, and I— I want you to give me away." She glanced back at her friend from under bashful eyelashes. "It would mean a lot, Kakashi, if you would."

There was a pause as Kakashi took in her words, and Rin was almost worried that he would say no. But then, Kakashi smiled, and it meant more than any words could describe, because Rin knew Kakashi loved her, and she knew watching her marry another man would kill him inside. But despite that, he agreed — he knew how much it meant to Rin, to have her best friend by her side, supporting her down that aisle. Even though she was marrying another man, they both knew a little piece of Kakashi was always in Rin's heart.

"Rin," the Jounin said, taking her by the shoulders. "I would be your _flower__girl_ if you asked me to. Did you really, even for a second, think I would refuse?"

Rin began to laugh, and launched forward to wrap her arms around Kakashi's neck. "You could carry Ukki-kun, for all I care. Thank you, Kakashi-kun. _Thank__you._"


	50. 049

I haven't been around for a while, so let me make it up to you with a (very) brief little snippet.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**049**_

* * *

Ukki can quite happily confirm that Kakashi and Gai had never, _ever_ had a 'thing'.

Kakashi and Itachi, however, did.


	51. 050

Ohh, did I just go there? Am I really threatening to make Rin marry another man? Shame on me!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**050**_

* * *

She really was beautiful - Kakashi admitted that unashamedly. He admitted, too, that he loved her like he had never loved before.

He loved her hands, which had brought him from the brink of death time and time again; he loved the slight dimple in her cheek and the scrunch of her nose when she laughed; that thing she did with her lips when she was confused, and the crease of her brow when she was mad; the sound of her giggle, the shape of her mouth, the softness of her hair, the smell of her skin. Her small fingers linked with his.

Kakashi felt his heart break a little as her hand fell from his and she stepped forward to take up another man's side.


	52. 051

TAOMU lives! Here, have some Ukki.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
_**051**_

* * *

Poor Ukki-kun was ill, and whenever Ukki got sick, Kakashi had no idea what to do. Contrary to what people believed (because he had had Ukki for as long as a lot of Konoha can remember), Kakashi wasn't actually very good with plants. He knew that Rin, however, was. It only took one call, and she was over in an instant, cooing over Ukki as if he were a puppy. Ukki would light up at once, and Kakashi always had to shake his head in disbelief. Sometimes, Kakashi swore Ukki was playing up, just to get Rin's attention.


	53. 052

051 continuation~ Because, really, Ukki's just the most selfless plant in the world.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**052**

* * *

Kakashi didn't know how right he was, in that respect. In those early days, when Kakashi was still an uptight prodigal child with more mind for protocol than friends, it was the only time Ukki ever saw him smile, when Rin was around. Ukki would never admit it, but Kakashi was right - sometimes he wasn't even ill. But it wasn't to bask in Rin's attentions, oh no (well, not _all _the time). Sometimes, he just made his leaves droop because he wanted to see Kakashi smile.

That, and he thought himself one hell of a matchmaker. For a plant.


	54. 053

This may need to be rewritten more coherently at some point, but here!

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**053**

* * *

When Kakashi mentions, just in passing, that Rin's wedding was the happiest day of his life, people look at him like he were mad. It seems absolutely unfathomable – the day your lover, and your best friend, is set to marry someone else, is the happiest day of your life? Madness!

But Kakashi just smiles at their disbelief, because they weren't there. They weren't there as Rin, beautiful in her wedding dress, so very graceful on his arm, walked down the aisle with her hand fixed tightly on his sleeve. They didn't see the way her eyes lingered on her teammate as he untangled her fingers and deposited her by the side of her groom. They didn't see what happened next.

In all honesty, not even Rin herself had expected it. She had been so sure she was making the right choice. But then, as all eyes turned to her, waiting eagerly for that sacred vow, she heard her own voice slip from her lips: "…No. No." and she knew. Rin turned, and immediately her eyes found Kakashi's, seated in the first row. "It was always you," she said, stumbling to his side. "It was always going to be you."

Kakashi had smiled, then, and had taken her by the hand, and as tears pricked at Rin's eyes and she threw an apology over her shoulder along with her discarded bouquet, they ran from the scene of their crime until they were out of breath from laughing.

They had spent the next week holed up in Kakashi's apartment, partly to avoid the smug I-told-you-so looks from Jiraiya, mostly to avoid the gossip, and were happy just to play ring-toss with Mr Ukki, glad that the plant, at least, couldn't look smug if he tried.


	55. 054

Sometimes, my friends just like to randomly yell TAOMU prompts at me.  
The prompts for this one? Lamp, the letter F, and _eggs_.

Hell, let's go ahead and make this a thing. Anyone got any random words, letters, or numbers they want to see on Ukki-kun's escapades?

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**054**

* * *

As a top-rate shinobi, reaching his prime amid a world war, Kakashi never really had time for the little domesticities like cooking. So it was quite hilarious for Mr Ukki to wake up on a Saturday morning and see Kakashi attempting to fry eggs for his post-inebriated self and an equally hung-over Rin. Especially when said kunoichi suddenly emerged, toppling into the bookshelf as she dragged her sorry state from the bathroom, rebounding into the lamp as she tripped, and ended up grabbing Kakashi by the belt and pantsing him right there in the kitchenette.

"_F-! __**RIN!**_"

There was an unmanly yelp, a crash, a sharp clang as the frying pan clattered to the tiled floor, and that was the end of the eggs.


	56. 055

Ask and ye shall recieve!  
8, Seahorse, Banana... nailed it?  
And this, dear reviewers, is how I mpreg: I don't **JUST** mpreg. I make it legit.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**055**  
_AKA. Mr Ukki's Neighbour_

* * *

It was staring at him, and Ukki didn't like it. This… _thing _had suddenly appeared on his windowsill, floating aimlessly through its small tank of water, drifting sideways, and back, and turning a bit, and down, and flexing its tale, and swerving, and floating, and drifting, and turning, turning, floating—

and the whole time, it did nothing, but _stare. _

Kakashi must've brought it back from his mission in the Land of Water, Ukki realised at length. He vaguely remembered Rin asking his master to pick something up for her as he travelled back through the Land of Whirlpools after he was done in Mizu no Kuni. Whatever Ukki had expected that something to be, however, it wasn't this — what had she called it? _Shi-ho-su? _She wanted it for something, obviously, but Ukki-kun was damned if he knew what for, though. It was an ugly whelp of a thing, as far as he was concerned.

It was tiny, barely a third of his entire stem, and was ribbed with spindling bones that travelled its entire, stooped length. Upon its head was a noduled coronet, protruding outwards from the top of its skull with a slight, lethargic lean towards its fragile snout. Its entire being seemed to curve inwards on its potbelly, its papery skin a mottled-yellow hue that reminded Ukki very much of the bruised banana mush Obito had slipped on a few years previously, which had resulted in the clumsy Uchiha knocking poor Ukki flying. He'd needed a new pot, after that. Foolish boy!

For an entire week, Ukki and the seahorse had a faceoff. Neither moved, neither seemed to breathe, and the only motion from either was the slight ruffle of Ukki's leaves, and the lazy stretch of the sea dragon's tail as it propelled itself about its coral lair. For hours on end, Ukki would watch the seahorse, suspicious, uneasy that this new phenomenon would somehow displace him from his window ledge. However, after a week, Ukki began to get used to his new neighbour and his abnormal, lulling waltz. In fact, the unblinking daze that had so much unnerved him was now actually kind of quirky; it was endearing.

Imagine Ukki-kun's sudden despair, then, when Rin appeared the next day and tucked little Uma-chan and his tank under her arm. "Thanks, Kakashi-kun," she was saying on her way out the door. "Senpai and I have wanted to create more of the old myoconditis remedy for ages, we just haven't had the chance to procure the particular seahorse ourselves. You know we can't always trust that trader lot over in Wave Country. I heard they're starting to go downhill, got themselves in a tight spot all over. Honestly, it's like a ripple effect. One man ups his price, and suddenly the economy two countries over booms!"

Ukki was struck dumb with shock. There was no way Rin could mean she was going to _kill _the little thing! He strained desperately to hear Kakashi's reply over the opening of the door. The plant could tell there was a frown on the Hatake's face from the misgivings in his tone. "Didn't have you pegged as a fan of the fresh livestock method, Rinni."

Rin sighed as she slipped on her shoes. "No…" she conceded. "Poor little guy. I'd rather prescribe a course of the new stuff, but you know Hiyori-baasan — won't budge an inch for the new stuff unless she knows it's worth its salt, and being originally from Mizu, too, she doesn't trust our plants and herbs one bit." There was a short clatter as Rin hefted the tank further up under her arm. "No, it's shihosu or none, I'm afraid, little horsey."

With that, Rin was gone, and Uma-chan along with her. Mr Ukki spent the rest of the day mourning for the little guy, having grown quite fond of him, and not even the new fertiliser Kakashi brought him could cheer him up. He leaves wilted slightly in his sadness, and the spring breeze seemed cruelly cold about his lower shoots. Days passed, and Ukki had to assume that Uma-chan was dead, ground up into the old lady's evening tea.

Imagine Ukki's surprise, then, when Rin returned one afternoon, with a familiar tank beneath her arm and a bemused, crooked smile dancing about her lips! Kakashi stepped aside without a word, and Rin plonked the tank down beside Mr Ukki's pot with a heavy sigh of resignation. She then flopped over onto Kakashi's bed with a dramatic cry, "I couldn't do it! And you know why? Because you, dear Kakashi, are an _idiot!_"

The young Jounin cast Rin a mystified look, and by way of explanation the girl flung her hand in the general direction of Uma's tank. "The seahorse you bought was _pregnant!"_

And, as if on cue, not just Uma — looking as skinny as a whippet, no longer curved about a potbelly, and much more alert — but eight other, tinier, seahorses shot out from the coral stub. Ukki almost shrieked and shed his leaves in shock. Leaning in close to examine the spectacle, Kakashi burst out laughing as Rin threw her hands over her face in exasperation.

"How can I kill him now?" she bemoaned. "He's a daddy! I can't orphan eight little seahorse babies! They need their touchan!"

Reigning in his humour for a moment, Kakashi enjoyed the delicious irony of the moment as he said, "You do realise, Rin, that in the wild male seahorses abandon their offspring after birth?"

He received a pillow to the face. "Shut it, you! _I know!_"

Ukki, meanwhile, paid the banter no attention. Little Uma had glided through the hypnotic swirls being made by his new charges, right up to the glass of his tank, until he was almost snout-to-leaf with Mr Ukki. And stared. And then, his tail flexed in a wave.


	57. 056

I will do all your prompts, but of course some of the plot bunnies are more compliant, and as per my warning for all other stories, I am prone to sudden hiatuses. So please be patient :)

Here is **chocolate pudding, flying, fireworks**.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**056**

* * *

One of Mr Ukki's most poignant memories is the celebrations following Minato's initiation as Yondaime Hokage. All over Kohonagakure, people were engaged in exuberant festivities. There was drinking and dancing late into the night, and bright fireworks lit the sky over the Hidden Village; Minato himself was having a relatively quiet drink with Jiraiya in his new office, breaking in what would later become Tsunade's secret sake drawer.

Minato's students, though, were notably missing from the public celebrations. Keen on exploiting their sensei's success as the chance to get their more rigid teammate drunk, Obito and Rin had goaded Kakashi into stealing alcohol from Tsunade's current private stash, and then invaded the young prodigy's home to watch the fireworks.

Obito had almost kicked Ukki off his perch as he and his teammates clambered out onto the roof of Kakashi's apartment, but Ukki didn't really mind. It was a happy night. The three students sat under the stars, eating dango and chocolate pudding, and getting far too giggly to make sense. Obito and Rin's plan seemed to have backfired on themselves, but they were too drunk to care, and just before Kakashi led his two (very tipsy) teammates inside, Rin planted a quick, jubilant kiss on both their cheeks. Kakashi, Ukki knew, was pleased despite his disgruntled blush, and Obito looked so happy he could fly.


	58. 057

Courtesy of my friend, who likes to try and stump me. TO HIM I SAY, HA! HAVE SOME TAOMU! Victory tastes like love, medicine, and moonlight.  
**Twenty-three, the moon, anaesthetic.**

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**057**

* * *

When Kakashi was twenty-three, he suffered a terrible injury during a mission to the Land of Stone. Rin sat by his side all night, out in the cold, barren landscape, huddled against an outcrop of rock as she waited on tenterhooks for a medic team to arrive. Kakashi's faint groans of discomfort made her acutely aware that she had nothing to ease his pain but a local anaesthetic, and kind words. For what was possibly the worst three days of Rin's life, they waited; when Kakashi slipped into a delirious fever that second evening, brought on by a progressing infection, Rin thought, in all honesty, that she would lose him. Even his feverish blush was deathly pale in the light of that second moon, and his breathing was impossibly shallow. She took him by the hand. If this was her last chance to tell him, her last chance to say it—

"I…I love you, Kakashi-kun," she said. "I always have. So you can't die. Don't…please… If— if you die… Please. I love you. Please… Just wake up. I— I don't know what to do. Just… wake up." She broke off in a sob, clutching his limp hand to her chest, intertwining her grip with his cold, scarred fingers. This far gone, it wasn't likely he could hear her.

(But somehow, impossibly, he did).

_"Rin…"_


	59. 058

Well, Jiraiya had to rub off on Minato in some way, right?

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**058**

* * *

It was with a hefty blush across his cheeks that Minato blurted out the happy news: he had arrived in his office, unusually late, flustered, and fidgeting, to meet with his two matured students. Kakashi was perched casually against the edge of Yondaime's desk, face echoing polite boredom and arms folded, whilst Rin stood beside him, hands on hips, eyeing up the clock and tapping her foot impatiently.

Eventually, Rin got tired of Minato's obvious embarrassment. "Just spit it out, sensei!" she cried, clapping a hand to her head in exasperation. Behind her, Kakashi shrugged his agreement. He, too, was impatient. Something had been distracting their master for a while, and they wanted to know what it was.

Minato let out a sheepish sigh of a chuckle. "Hai, hai," he consented in the face of their expectance, rubbing at his nose bashfully with his thumb. Under the eager gaze of his students, he suddenly became uncharacteristically nervous. "Well," he began with a self-conscious lick of his lips. "You know— ah." A mischievous smile was creeping across Minato's face despite himself. "You know that Kushina and I— we— well."

"Oh no, don't you pause there!" Rin cried as she jabbed a zealous finger, growing irritated by his obviously pleased grin. "You've been sneaking around, and leaving us in the dark, and I want the damn gossip! Out with it, you!"

Perhaps it was the sheer, unexpected audacity of Rin, addressing her master and Kage with such an impertinent phrase, that set Minato laughing so hard, or maybe it was simply the cheesed off look on her face combined with the building joy he could no longer contain. Either way, Minato had to splutter his words around gasps of laughter:

"Okay, okay!" he cried in a gleeful shout. "We're going to have a _baby!_"

Their reactions were instantaneous.

Kakashi snapped up off the desk in surprise, his visible eye widening before it creased in a realising smile, and he shook his head. He should've guessed. Rin, meanwhile, was standing stock still, her mouth dropping open as the words reached her brain.

"Oh, sensei!" she squealed suddenly, launching herself at her master and throwing her arms gleefully around his neck. "That's amazing! Congratulations!" She leapt back, a huge smile mirroring Minato's own, and she danced from foot to foot in excitement. "Oh wow, oh, oh but—! But when? How?"

Kakashi snorted. Rin's cheeks coloured. "Oh shush, I don't mean— I mean, I know _how_, what I mean is how _long!_Shut up, 'Kashi!"

Minato chuckled, placing a hand on Rin's shoulder and bringing her attention back to him. "It's been about two months now," he confessed with a slightly sheepish grin.

"And you didn't tell us sooner?" Kakashi chipped in, rolling his eye as Minato just shrugged his shoulders.

"It wasn't exactly… planned," the man confessed as the Hatake moved forward to clap him on the shoulder, "so we wanted to get everything straight before- Rin?"

Minato hadn't noticed that Rin had been doing some math as he spoke, and as it dawned on her, her grin became slightly disturbed. Her smile had twisted, and she was looking at her sensei with ominous eyes. "Two months would've been when we went to visit Kushina-san in the Whirlpool country, right, Minato-sensei?" she asked innocently enough, despite her freezing smile. Minato began to feel slightly uneasy.

"Uh, yeah…?"

"I see," she said, nodding amiably and half turning from the man. It took a moment for the guys to see what the kunoichi was doing. She was reaching for something on the desk. Minato suddenly had the urge to run.

"Eh—erm— Rin, Rin what are you doing?" he ventured, holding up his hands in defence as she turned on him. "What— what did I do? What've you got there? Rin? _Rin?_ Oh sh—! _**Aghck—!"**_An ink bottle hit him right between the eyes, as Rin's voice rang in his ears: "You had _sex _while I was in the _next room? __**YOU PERVERT!**__"_


	60. 059

Have some more TAOMU.

* * *

The Adventures of Mr Ukki  
**059**

* * *

Ukki knows that Kakashi is a private person, and luckily his guise as a regular house-plant mean that he is privy to scenes that others wouldn't usually be allowed to witness. Not even Rin, although she was generally the exception for a lot of things. There was one time, though, in the weak dawn of the war, when Rin stumbled upon a weary, injured ANBU, alone in the wreckage of an old house – the ruin too old, too overgrown, to be a casualty of the recent battle. That was the only time Kakashi ever spoke about his mother; and it was the only time Rin ever saw him cry.


End file.
